Catherine, a Home Swappers subscriber, who recently wrote a review of the e-book, 'Home Exchange Academy', has raised an important issue that other families are very likely to have encountered when first discussing the idea of a home exchange with their children:
'As our family discusses potential home exchanges, our daughters (age 7 & 9) are expressing a lot of anxiety about someone they don't know sleeping in their beds and touching their "stuff". I'd be interested in hearing from other families with children of similar ages about how they've addressed such concerns.'
It's not only children who may have problems with the idea of having 'strangers' in their homes and using their 'stuff' when first presented with the idea. However, Catherine is the first to raise this issue especially from the point of view of children and it will be useful to get feedback from experienced exchangers on how they have handled this with their own children.
Children in families that have been taking part in home swaps since they were babies or toddlers will accept home exchange and having guests in their homes while they are away as perfectly normal. But, it's understandable that older children in families considering home exchange for the first time may have concerns about allowing exchange guests to sleep in their beds and use their toys and games when they aren't at home.
Try to involve your children in your plans for a home exchange at an early stage. If they browse listings on the website with you, point out the positives of staying in a home (new toys, games, books, possibly local playmates) and of all the fun they would have exploring the area. Make it clear that you will have to consider different exchange possibilities, sending your exchange offer to a number of members, so that they don't get their hearts set on one particular offer that may not be available.
If possible, exchange with a family with children of similar ages to your own. Encourage your children to correspond directly with the children in the exchange party, sharing information on their interests, things they like to do in your neighbourhood that the guest children may enjoy too, exchanging photos of themselves and any pets, explaining how to care for pets, etc. Hopefully, the children will become email or social networking pen pals and, by the time the exchange takes place, should be fine with the idea of having their new 'friends' sleeping in their beds and using their stuff. If at all possible, arrange an overlap at the beginning of the exchange so that the children actually are able to meet, even if only briefly at the airport.
Reassure your children that, although you will all leave most of your things (apart from personal items and clothing) for your guests to use, any of their special things (perhaps a 'baby' toy that they wouldn't want touched or might feel they would be ridiculed for still having) can be stored or locked away so they won't be seen or used by any of the exchange guests.
Do leave a comment below or get in touch if you have other ideas to share on how best to deal with anxieties children may have about allowing exchange guests to use their rooms and belongings.